House hunting shows give people who’ve yet to buy a home a peek behind the curtain. They also give folks who’ve bought a house or two in the past a chance to relive the thrill of finding the perfect abode.
But as the folks who have already been through the experience can probably attest to, those shows make it look a little quicker and easier than it is in real life. If only buying a house were just like they show on tv…
Wait a minute! Maybe you can duplicate the experience!
Let’s take a look at 10 comical things you can do to make it feel like you’re on an HGTV show when you’re house hunting:
1) Hire a Narrator
In order to create the proper feel, you’ll need someone with a calm, soothing, non-judgmental tone to give a play-by-play of your journey. Morgan Freeman would be ideal, but he’s probably pricey and booked solid anyway, so just find a local voice-over actor who’s looking for their next gig.
2) Pretend You’re Meeting Your Agent for the First Time
The vast majority of buyers have at least some sort of relationship with their real estate agent before meeting them for the first time outside the first house they’re going to see. But to truly mimic the house hunting shows, you need to at least pretend that you and your agent were just set up on the equivalent of a blind date and make some awkward small talk before heading into the first house they show you… even if it’s your best friend or relative.
3) Rule Out Houses Over Things That Are Easily Fixable…
It’s not a house hunting show if one of the buyers doesn’t whip out the classic complaint about the paint color not being to their taste. Ummm, who hasn’t gotten the memo yet about how simple cosmetic issues aren’t a good reason for not buying an otherwise perfect house? Even if you know that’s no reason to rule a house out, you’re going to need to gripe about it if you want the true TV experience!
4) … but Mention How You Could “Blow Out a Wall” in Every House
On the other hand, entire walls are never a big issue! Make sure to pick a wall or two in every house you see and proclaim how taking it down would really open up the space!
5) Don’t Forget to Mention How Much You Like Entertaining!
And you’ll need all the space you can get due to all of the entertaining you like to do, right?! Well, whether you’re the host or hostess with the mostest or not, you’ll need to pretend you love to entertain, because every single person on those shows buys a house based upon their party plans.
6) Finish Your Search After Seeing Exactly Three Houses
Finding the perfect home can entail seeing quite a few homes over the course of weeks, or even months. But if you want that house hunting show feel, make sure you choose which houses you want to see carefully, because you only get to see three houses on three separate days.
7) Have Some Drinks and Make a Decision
As with many big decisions in life, they’re best made with a little alcohol coursing through your veins. Not a drinker? Order yourself a mocktail so you look the part of a proper TV house hunter.
8) Ask Random Strangers to Guess the One You’re Going to Pick
Half the fun of these shows is trying to guess which house the people are going to buy, so don’t hog all the fun to yourself! Walk up to random strangers and show them the online pics of each of the three houses you’re choosing, and maybe give them a little insight into your wants and needs, and then let them take a guess at which house you’re going to buy.
9) Pick One
The final step in the process is to choose one and let everyone (even those strangers) know which one you chose.
10) Move In
Then, voila, you just move in! You just bypass writing up an offer, negotiating, getting the home inspected, applying for the mortgage, the appraisal, and the closing!
As mentioned in the intro, if only it were that easy…
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